|
|
Summer is Over
By Kianoosh Hashemzadeh
When you step outside you will notice summer is gone. The chill of the
air will frisk you through your cotton t-shirt and jeans. Your exposed
toes will be sort of cold and you will know then that summer has
turned its porch light off. And it will feel like a North Carolina
autumn evening, but it is August and you will be in Montreal.
You will walk down Laurier and notice the fullness of some of the bars
even though it is a Tuesday night. There will be a table of four
attractive men next to the opened garage windows and you will walk by
and look only once. You will think the one with the glasses is the
cutest. Note the name of the bar so you can remember to come back to
it sometime.
You decide to dial a friend and chat as you walk. The bar beside the
bus stop for the 80 will be nearly empty and you will wonder if people
are listening to your conversation. You will wonder if those
eavesdropping will think your conversation is interesting. When you
look at the sign and it reads 23:03 you will realize you have a
ten-minute wait. But you will not continue walking down Parc because
you are tired and the eagerness to walk on unfrozen pavement that you
felt in late April will no longer be with you. You will just be tired
and want to wait.
Finally the 80 will come–two minutes late–and you will take a seat
towards the back and turn on your iPod. There will be a slightly
disconcerting young man sitting in the far right corner. His face will
be all scrunched up and his eyes will look like flat slits. His arms
will be horizontally stacked across his chest.
The bus will stop on the corner where Parc meets Sherbrooke. The
corner with the arts supply store–the store you always walk past and
entertain for a few strides why you never paint anything but
second-hand furniture anymore. You never will stop and go inside and
gaze at the rows of paintbrushes. Tonight, you will think about
getting off and peering into the window of arts supply store with all
the items you never buy, but the bus will lurch forward before you can
make your decision.
You will get off with most of the other passengers at the Place des
Arts stop. When you are on the escalator that descends into the warmth
of the metro station you will catch your reflection in something
shiny. Adjust your stance. Shift your weight to one foot and then back
to the other.
When you make it down to the platform your music, accompanied by the
slight film of a late night, will be interrupted by a man–the same
disconcerting man on the 80–who is waiting on the opposite side. His
face is still scrunched up. He will bring his hands to his face in
strange gesture that makes you wonder what he is thinking. He will
move close to the edge, over the dotted orange line that reminds
passengers to not get too close. He will be standing directly next to
the tunnel where the train first emerges. He will scuttle closer and
he will turn away with a sweeping movement, arms raised overhead.
Next he will hinge forward at the waist and cover his eyes, nose, and
mouth with his hands. His spine will be curled upwards toward the
stretched ceiling. And you will wonder if he is thinking of jumping in
front of the rushing train.
You will feel like you have to do something, so you walk down the
platform, standing directly across from him. Stare at him. Try to make
him notice you. Smile even, because you know if you don't try
something you might feel very bad later. As you are standing there,
you will think about why you are living and will try to send these
thoughts through the stuffy air to the disconcerting man. He will
wobble in front of you. Suddenly the train will come and you will hold
your breath.
He boards and takes a seat near the window. You will look at his
profile as he bobs his head up and down to some melody.
Your train will come. You will step on and take a seat and notice all
the men are reading. Summer must be over.
Kianoosh Hashemzadeh is a freelance writer living in Montreal. She will begin her MFA in Creative Writing at the New School this fall.
Next Essay
photo by Sarah Truckey |