This essay, full of narrative surprises, offers an unexpected take on the life of a paramedic.

Voice plays an important role here as Pang toys with the reader, creating uncertainty as to whether or not he harbors any sympathy toward his clients.  "My paramedic friends and I have an attitude about work that is kind of perverse - a good call is when someone is really messed up."  In the essay, he uses gallows humor to highlight this:  "He [victim of a car accident] says he lost consciousness but I don't believe him - I'm in no hurry to get to the hospital.  He's fine.  But if he is sick, if he has a slow bleed inside of his skull and dies later I will explain to the inquisitors why we stayed so long at the scene."

Pang wrote the essay in a class he took at UC Berkley Extension.  "The instructor spoke about finding a story with a Turning Point."  Pang immediately thought of Lenny, and how this sad figure had softened his feelings, changed his attitude toward his clients.   The incident had taken place six years ago, and Pang had not recorded it paper.  "I really feel if something is worth writing down, I'll automatically remember it.  I think the brain does not forget things it considers important. "Pang found the instructor very helpful -- she also told him to start the essay with a scene, since "it puts you right in the action."

In one sense, writing "A Well Worn Hanky" was easy for Pang.  "I knew exactly what I wanted to write and where I wanted it to go.  But then I realized that it had been a strange sequence of events, almost unbelievable."  The actual encounter with Lenny took less than ten minutes.  To make the turning point ring true, Pang added internal reflection:  "I want to say that Lenny has a wife named Alice home waiting for him. That he carries a hanky in his pocket.  But they are deaf now."

Over the course of four weeks, Pang spent many hours revising the essay.  Looking at the work fresh was important.  "I'd have to stop writing and reread what I wrote the following day to decide if it was working."

Pang has been a paramedic for ten years.  "I've written hundreds of pages about paramedic stuff. Some of it good, most of it bad.  For me, the only way I feel good about my writing is if I read it and can say it's a true reflection of how I felt -- that it is the best way I can possibly describe something.  That's how I felt about this piece. And this is the first time I ever tried to get anything published."

Publishing "A Well Worn Hanky" has validated Pang's identity as a writer.  Besides being a paramedic, "this is what I really want to do."



Stephanie Susnjara